Someone who I love to read to when I need a bit of inspiration or when I find myself getting bogged down with the silly worries or fears of everyday life is Anthony De Mello, SJ. With his mix of stories, psychology, Jesuit spirituality and reflections from the Eastern religions, he paints a picture of a life that can be worry free, enjoying each moment, without caring what others think. After reading his book “Awareness”, I came away thinking, “I definitely want some of that!”

One of the reasons De Mello offers as to why we get unhappy, frustrated and angry is that we identify too much with the self, or we identify too much with the “I”. I never really understood what this meant until recently, when a friend described it to me as realising that all our good deeds and good work come from the Holy Spirit working through us, and not by us alone making great things happen. My friend’s statement made me appreciate how all of the good things I do in life are because of the graces God has bestowed on me, all the gifts He has given me, and the ways in which He answers my prayers by working through me and with me. As Jesus says to the crowd in John’s Gospel, “it was not Moses who gave you bread from heaven, it was my Father.”

Reflecting on my friend’s words made me think how much of my joy comes from believing that any good presentations I do at work, any good goals I score on the football field, any advice I give in voluntary work (to take but a few examples from everyday life), all comes from me, and my ability and my skills and intelligence. I identify with this, and get a real kick out of it. By the same token, so much of my worry comes from not thinking I will be good enough at work and will make mistakes, so much of my frustration comes with my inability to learn something quick enough. I identify with this, believe that I am not good enough, and it makes me down and worried. Along these lines, life becomes a rollercoaster of emotions, from low to high, from sad to happy.

In reality, however, God’s Spirit is at work in the different things I do in my daily life. As Jesus says in Mark’s Gospel when telling his followers that they will be arrested and judged: “…don’t worry about what you should say. Say the things God gives you to say at that time. It will not really be you speaking. It will be the Holy Spirit speaking”. God works through me, and He has his own plan for me, regardless of how I identify with my own successes and failures. God is, as Isaiah says, the one who formed us in the womb and called us by our names.

When I heard my friend talk about how it was the Sprit moving in us which allows us to do great things, I felt a sense of relief. I felt it took the pressure off me to perform at work, in the things I do, with friends, and get things rights all the time, since I know it is not all down to me, but God working in me. My task is to turn my heart to God and ask and allow for the Spirit to work through me.

Anthony De Mello sadly died at the age of 57. His unique spirituality has helped many approach God more easily. The following excerpt is taken from what is said to be his last sermon, and for me, perfectly encapsulates how we need not worry about getting everything right, or identifying with our successes and failures, since God’s Spirit is at work through us and in us, and the God who has a plan for us is in all things -

“Don’t change: Desire to change is the enemy of love
Don’t change yourselves: Love yourselves as you are
Don’t change others: Love all others as they are
Don’t change the world: It is in God’s hands and he knows
And if you do that change will occur
Marvellously in its own way and in its own time
Yield to the current of life unencumbered by baggage.”

The above reflection was written by a young adult who comes to First and Third Sunday masses.